Posts Tagged ‘Family’

Warm Memories During The Holidays

December 19th, 2010

On those snow-covered roads of the 50’s and 60’s, the drive to my grandparents was always unforgettable. It seemed that the roads were hardly ever plowed, and there was no salt – just those coal black ashes mixed with tiny pieces of metal that would puncture a tire at least once or twice each winter.  The trip to their house really was over the river and through the woods, as we crossed the old wooden plank bridge, and started up the back roads to the park, where they lived.

Dad was not shy about winter driving on snow drift covered roads. As we slid and crashed through the white stuff on those old, back country roads at breakneck speeds, he would laugh as if nature was just something with which to play. Rear wheel drive in those clunky old 50’s cars was just crazy fun, as the Buick turned into a high tech, machine powered sleigh.  We would drive into total isolation where no unchained car had gone before us and thrill at making those first tire tracks in that freshly fallen snow. Mom would always be yelling, “Be careful, Charlie, don’t go too fast,” but he just laughed that baritone laugh as he put the pedal to the metal.

Winter, mid-1950s - Nick Jacobs, FACHE

After our snow driving fun, we would have our snow playing fun as we romped and rolled in the snow in our grandparents’ yard. That could go on for hours or until our blue jeans were completely frozen. Then we walked like icicles toward the heat of grandma’s kitchen. We were so cold that even our long underwear was frozen. In fact, we looked like cold, hard kid-cicles.  Once inside we would peel off layer after layer of wool and cotton until we were down to our frozen long  johns.

Our grandparents’ house was a place where we were surrounded with more fun, love and craziness than a kid could ever imagine. Oh, and food?  There were pots and pans bubbling and jumping on every burner of her old gas fired stove; spaghetti, meat sauce, home grown vegetables, cookies, and every type of Italian fruit or vegetable. In the middle of the table there was always a bowl filled with black gold, those wonderful fat, black olives that became candy to me. When the spaghetti was finally put on the table it was in a serving dish that reminded me of a soup bowl for Jack and the Beanstalk’s Giant. It could have been a bassinet for triplets. There had to have been at least two or three pounds of specially cooked pasta just waiting to become part of our collective muffin tops!

After we said grace (during which Grandma could be heard mumbling in Italian under her breath), Granddad would pass the wine around the room to all of the adult males at the table.  His philosophy as he poured his homemade wine from the gallon jug was that warmth, laughter, love and fun came from the fruit of the vine.  Throughout the entire meal, they would drink and laugh and sing to the tune of those carefully-cultivated grapes.  I loved the lighthearted, happiness of those meals. We never talked about anything serious and if anyone tried to bring up a serious category, granddad would do something just plain crazy like dump his peaches into his coffee cup, and my Grandmother would begin her ritual, a ritual that she surely seemed to enjoy as she scolded him by yelling out, “Patsy, Patsy, you gonna make-a da boys be bad!”  He would smile with that knowing smile that seemed to say, “Oh, they’ll be bad, alright, but not because of tonight. It will be because they have my genes!”

We loved the hugs, the love and the laughter. We always left there feeling that total nonjudgmental, complete love that only a grandparent can give.

It was all about that love.

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I Remember Stephen

June 2nd, 2010

In the 1970’s, my career was wrapped completely around teaching, not just teaching, but teaching and playing music.  It was during that decade that my trumpet playing reached its peak, and between the numerous big bands in the area, I could play at least two weekend and one weekday nights every week.  The music was good, the musicians were friends, and the audiences were appreciative.

Johnstown Pennsylvania - A History - Part 2 - Randy WhittleThe Lemon Drop, Casa Romani, Mynderbinders, Bimbo’s, the Holiday Inn, the Ramada Inn, and a dozen other clubs with mostly ethnic or fraternal names were the sites of many a part-time playing job.  Be it the Johnstown Jazz Workshop, the Barnum and Bailey Circus, the Ice Capades, or Disney on Ice, my playing salary for the year often rivaled my teaching salary; neither of which came to more than $500 a month.

Along with those playing “gigs” there was one other primary, part -time employment opportunity and that was teaching private trumpet lessons.  It was my choice to teach at the Johnstown College of Music which was owned by Peg and Bob Hornick.  My schedule there was always packed full from 5:30 PM until 9:00 PM Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturday mornings.  There were kids of all ages from all school districts, and in the 1970’s those kids helped me pay the mortgage.  Even though I was usually pretty tired by 9:00 PM and often dreamed of learning to sleep with my eyes open, I never did.

One of my smallest students was Steve.  He was a little toe-headed, 7th grader from Forest Hills when he came to me, and he loved music.  He loved the fact that he was learning to play the trumpet from a professional and each week he got a little better.  Steve understood what it meant to work for something that he loved, and he didn’t mind getting an occasional tongue lashing if he hadn’t focused enough on his practicing that week.

Well, one night in 1976, I rushed through dinner, grabbed my jacket, and started for the door when my son, then three years old, stopped me and said, “Daddy, where are you going?”  I explained that I had to go to work.  He very slowly replied, “Daddy, you just came home from work.”  I signed and said, “I know, buddy, but I have to make some extra money.”  He looked at me quizzically and said, “What for, Daddy?”   To which I countered, “To buy you shoes.”  At that point he looked up at me and said in a very stern voice, “Daddy, I have shoes; please don’t leave me.”

It broke my heart to leave that night, but I did because I knew that I had an obligation, and when my first student walked in the door, I took a deep breath and thought to myself, “Steve, I’m here for you tonight, “ but those words were never spoken.
Ironically, there was an obituary in the newspaper last week, and it was an obituary for a 47 year old man who also left behind a son.  The age and the picture drew me further into the printed word where I read a name that seemed strangely familiar to me, Stephen Yanzetich.  It was Steve, my Steve, little 7th grade, toe-headed Steve who shared me that night.

Unbelievably, after 34 or so years, in his parting recognition, the author acknowledged that I had taught Steve trumpet, and as I sat back and read my own name in that obituary, I realized, once again, that it had been worth it, that 34 years later my time with Steve had been important to both of us.  That simple acknowledgement said to me, “Thank you, Mr. Jacobs, for caring enough about me to teach me all of those nights.”  To which I can candidly reply,”Thank you, Steve, for being such a good kid, and may God bless you.”

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There are (at Least) Ten Reindeer

December 13th, 2009

{Taking a business blogging break this week for a little holiday fun.}

This holiday thing is intense. I was reading the other day that people started really getting into celebrating Christmas around 354 A.D. So, we made it from 354 until about 1954 before things really became so commercial. It took 1600 years for capitalism to take hold, but when it did, WOW! I’m not exactly sure what a Christmas recession looks like in other countries, but in the United States, we seem to still buy everything; we just try to get it on sale.

So, in the spirit of holiday capitalism, I went to the mall today with three of the little kids; the six, four, and almost two year old.  We went there to see Santa Claus, or, as their mom called him, “The Big Cheese.” When she called Santa that, there was a three kid pause, and finally, the four year old said, “Cheese?” Who is the “Big Cheese?” “Santa,” her mom said, “Santa Claus is the Big Cheese.” Nina said, “Why is he cheese? I thought he was Santa.” By then mom realized that it was not good to confuse little kids about elves, magical people, and such because it was already confusing enough.

Photo Credit: AP

Photo Credit: AP

The day’s plan was simple: get their picture taken with Santa. We needed Annie Sullivan, Helen Keller’s teacher to pull off that miracle. The oldest one with two missing front teeth, played with everything in the garage before agreeing to be strapped into his seat, and the baby somehow flipped the lining of her seat and buried the belt latches. Only the four year old, who was wearing her Christmas dress, sliver dancing shoes, and holiday hair ribbon climbed into her seat and said, “Let’s go see Santa.” Not unlike her three year old cousin, Lucy, who spent hours under the Christmas tree staring mesmerized up into the lights and decorations, Nina was completely into it all.

When we arrived at Santa’s workshop, we watched a string of tiny kids panicking on the ole boy’s lap. The two year old was no different. Nothing helped. Squeaking reindeer toys, binkies and funny faces, were all in vain as she screamed in the arms of this strange, red suited man. After the trauma, we bought their Christmas picture. It had one terrified baby and two older kids looking off into space as if a hypnotic alien was on top of the camera. It could have been a scene from “Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen.”

During lunch we discovered that Santa had known exactly what the middle child wanted for Christmas, and that he had even discussed the particulars with her in detail.  The magic continued. It was also during this meal that  we had a very serious reindeer discussion. The boy’s mother looked at me and said, “Ask your grandson to name the reindeer that pull Santa’s sleigh.” So, I did just that. To which he replied, “Well, Poppa, you see, there’s Dasher and Dancer and Prancer and Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner and Blitzen plus Rudolph and Olive.” “Olive?,” I said out loud. “Yes,” he replied strongly, “Olive the other reindeer …used to laugh and call him names.” The absolute truth about the reindeer is that Dunder and Blixem, Dutch words for Thunder and Lightning, had their names changed to Donner and Blitzen several years ago for better song rhyming. (Another list of reindeer names that I saw included: Fireboy, Leroy, Pablo and Clarice, so Olive worked for me.)

In fact, this week I got another E-mail describing a third grader who was reading a story in class when he yelled out, “Mr. Markle, what’s a frickin’ elephant?” The teacher walked quickly over to the student’s desk to assure him that he was incorrect when he saw that the boy was reading a story about an “A-frican elephant.”? He was obviously Hooked on Phonics. So, “Ho, Ho, Ho, Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night.”

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The Fate of Modern Day Gladiators

October 12th, 2009
The warrior in the picture is my buddy and grandson, Jude. He is about to go to war for candy. It’s his Halloween costume, but a fitting example of a warrior, and one that works well for the topic of this blog post.

Jude

When I first saw this picture, it reminded me of my peers who are out there in the day to day fight trying to work their way through the current financial crisis. Then the picture reminded me of a much bigger and more threatening challenge. Last week’s New Yorker ran an article entitled “The Catastrophist” by Elizabeth Kolbert. It was about another type of warrior, James Hensen, Director of NASA’s Goddard Institute for Space Studies. He is fighting for our children and their children’s future. He is the top scientist for NASA who successfully made early recommendations about chlorofluorocarbons creating holes in the Ozone, and was instrumental in getting the world to ban them and stop the holes in the atmosphere from progressing.

For the last several years, he has been fighting a personal war to get the world to take the steps necessary to stop global warming before it is too late. At a recent rally in New Hampshire, he described our situation as a one in which, “climate history is being run in reverse and at high speed, like a cassette tape on rewind. Carbon dioxide is being pumped into the air some ten thousand times faster than natural weathering processes can remove it.”

The world has not yet responded to his and the majority of scientists discoveries, but he fights on for his grandchildren while the pundits say it is all hype and without substance. “The world goes through cycles,” they say, “and this is just another cycle.”

Then, I read a comprehensive article by Malcolm Gladwell in this week’s New Yorker magazine (I know, I know – It’s New York) …entitled “Offensive Play.” Mr. Gladwell examined the realities of professional football, boxing, NASCAR, and the world of fighting dogs that can only be described as painfully chilling. In this treatise, he examined the frequency and degree of damage that professional football players endure from multiple head injuries. In fact, it was not limited to professional football players, but players of all levels.

Tom E. Puskar/Associated Press Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger, with Dr. Joseph Maroon, being taken away after sustaining a concussion.
Pittsburgh Steelers Quarterback  Ben Roethlisberger after sustaining a concussion – Tom E. Puskar/Associated Press

He met with scientists who have studied the autopsied brains of these men, men who have made their living as modern day gladiators and warriors. Men who, as he described it, “had game.” No matter the degree of injury, they were ready and driven to get back in and play. He likened this attitude to Marines and young doctors and asked the question “If you have people who are willing to march over a cliff for you, you cannot march them close to the edge of the cliff?’

In this analysis, he gave the example of a veteran football player who might be exposed to 18,000 head hits during a ten year period. He also provided example after example of famous NFL players who had tragic endings to their lives because of these injuries. These were often times great player who became abusive toward loved ones or lost their personal direction in life and committed suicide.

These “modern day gladiators,” not unlike boxers, have some degree of information regarding the potential risks that they face. But, also like boxers, about 22%  of whom end up with dementia, they will most likely continue to do this work as long as we are willing to pay them millions in order to observe their physical prowess.

NASCAR, on the other hand, has worked year after year to improve survivability of their drivers from even horriffic accidents. NASCAR can make their sport relatively safe, but football has a much greater challenge because helmets don’t really stop the impact of hitting your head at 80 miles or more an hour, the equivalent of going through an automobile windshield at that speed. Yet a NASCAR driver escaped injury in a head on collision of 180 miles an hour last year.

NJ_cover_comp2Maybe the idea of having “game” is not limited to football, or soldiering, or medicine. If you look at the level of stress that many executives endure with the blessing and even pressure to do so from their bosses, their stakeholders, and their stockholders, the same type of moral question seems to surface. Kevlar gas tanks keep Grand Prix automobiles from exploding. What keeps modern day gladiators from exploding? Clearly, it is not more Yang.

I’m just the reporter, and this reporter is going to borrow my grandson’s battle gear as I fight on through the economic downturn. By the way, my new book,  You Hold Em. I’ll Bite Em. should be out next month. Talk about the result of a head injury. We played without pads or helmets!

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