&%$@# the Network

March 27th, 2009 by Nick Jacobs Leave a reply »
When it came time to set up my office with wireless communications for my computer and printer, it took three men and a baby to finally get it to work. First, set up appointments to schedule the technicians to come, and then wait for the required four hours. They never come at the beginning of that time window. Then, when they don’t show up, you have to run outside and stop them from leaving because they always say that they couldn’t find your eight story building with the two foot high numbers on the door.


Shortly after the installation, everything stops working, and everyone has to be called back from the cable company for one more dance. My speed dial is now populated with special 800 numbers that give you 42 menu selections in Spanish and English.

So, my cell phone broke. You’re probably thinking, he’s some big executive, just call the phone staff. Well, truthfully, my name now appears under the Administrative Consulting division as that phone person, too. So, my first stop; the phone store. After waiting for about 47 minutes, someone says, “Can I help you?” “Sure, my phone is broke,” I respond. The technician looks at it and says, “Yes, it is broken.”

He then walks away, only to return several minutes later to say, “We’ll arrange for you to get a replacement phone.” Well, there are no replacement phones in stock anywhere within the greater metropolitan area. “Here’s a rebuilt one, Mr. Jacobs, good as new.” When I ask them to transfer all of my information to the new phone, the attendant says, “No problem.”

About an hour later, she hands me the phone, and I head for home. In about 13 minutes, I realize that my calendar, my pictures, my text messages, my business E-mail account, and my personal writings are all gone, wiped out, erased. My heart begins to beat like a bunny in hunting season.

No calendar, no back-up, no idea even what I’m doing tomorrow. I called to happily discover that the old phone was still there 24 hours later. As I raced to get it, the young woman behind the counter hands me a few pieces of paper, and says, “Good luck copying that calendar.”

It seemed odd that she could transfer 2,800 addresses but no appointments, or pictures, or business E-mail. So, I scribbled appointments, returned to the office, and spent three hours putting them in the calendar. Then I discovered that this phone could NOT read the memory card. I went to the next store, told my tale of woe, and they said, “No problem, we’ll get you another phone.” Well, this time, I explained what had happened re: the kind of effort it took to install the calendar dates. They smiled and said, “We can do that for you, just bring it back.”

Of course, when the phone arrived, I went to the store to have the transfer, waited an hour, and they informed me that it was impossible, but that I could easily set up my computer to do the sync at home. I couldn’t! So, the help line was next from 12:30 PM until 5:30 PM, and five people tried to help from the wireless company, but no luck. “The $%#@$ number you have reached is out of service.”

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