Wah Wah Wah

August 8th, 2006 by Nick Jacobs Leave a reply »

The world is falling apart at the seams. Wars in Lebanon, Israel, Iraq and trouble in North Korea, Iran, Syria… and…closer to home. Congressman Murtha is being attacked by those individuals who haven’t listened. Like it or not, he has dared to go where no politician had gone before… he has predicted, reported and spoken THE TRUTH about impending civil war, lack of troops, worn out weapons, and a more than difficult situation in what is becoming “the longest war since the War of the Roses.”

It’s not my place, however, to spew political rhetoric in my blog. It is my place to tell you what’s really really bothering me.

Ornish_books3_2 In nine and a half years I had gained only five pounds. Count ‘em. 172 to 177. Sure, I’d gain a little on vacation, but could always count on a bout of the stomach flu to get me back down. I have exercised and watched my weight to the point of being spoiled. It was a beautiful thing. It was something that only smokers had achieved in the past. NO WEIGHT GAIN.

For nine and a half years I had lived on the Dr. Dean Ornish Coronary Artery Disease Reversal Diet. Do you want to talk about FUN? I know what fun is and that was NOT FUN, but it kept me svelte.

It was a vegetarian diet. No problem. I got real used to that. Vegetables, whole grains, fruit, some soy and an occasional fake hamburger made from “stuff.” The diet was about 75% carbs, but I ate PLENTY of food and didn’t gain a pound. Actually, that part was fun. Give me a bag or two of sourdough pretzels and some water. In fact, my eating habits were a lot like Seabiscuit’s.

Euell_gibbons_book_1The tough part about this diet was NO ADDED FATS. No olive oil. No almonds. No butter. No LARD. No M&M’s with peanuts. No fish. NO . . . well, you get the picture. Alcohol was permitted once a day, and there were plenty of weeks where I wanted to save it all up and drink a case of beer on a Saturday night to celebrate my Euell Gibbons diet.

Then came Crestor. Don’t get me wrong, up to this point, Lipitor, Zocor, Mevacor, anything with an or on the end of it had been part of my life.

It was early February when my physician sent me an article written by a cardiologist at the Cleveland Clinic. I contacted this gentlemen, who politely responded to me by e-mail, and we began our relationship. He suggested, “Go Mediterranean.” Crestor, fish oil, Zetia, lots and lots of Niaspan… and then a miracle occurred. After nearly six decades, my numbers fell and/or rose to near prenatal proportions. HDL over 31? Unheard of anywhere in my family.

Mandm_guy200 Fish re-entered my diet once or twice a week. Almonds hit my pallet after nearly nine years, and canola oil, God bless oil. I had it twice a week on salads. Compound that with some chocolate. I once stared at an M&M for two and a half hours on the floor by my shoe on a trip to San Diego before I kicked it away.

What happened?

According to my numbers, I might not only live, but I might actually reverse some of the two or three hundred pounds of plaque in my system, but what really happened. I went to bed on a Sunday night and woke up on Monday morning seven pounds heavier, 177 to 184. The heck with the wars. My pants don’t fit. Seven ugly, miserable, couldn’t-be-worse pounds of fat. I’m going to need Husky blue jeans with reinforced knee pads. (Did they think that fat kids fell down a lot?)

I’m going to go back to grass and hot sauce. Dean, where are ya, man?

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